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Sunday, May 8, 2011

How to be Fiscally Responsible

Staying on top of finances these days can be really rough what with credit cards and all the temptations of the internet.  But have no fear, Super Serena is here to save you the embarrassment of getting shown up by the treachery of the world wide web!

1. Identify wants vs. needs

Late at night you have it in your head that you should upload all the songs on your ipod to a new computer.  To do this, you need to buy an internet program.  While part of you is chomping at the bit thinking, "If I do not copy these songs immediately they will be lost forever," a more rational side of you realizes that you probably do not need to empty your wallet right this second on a program that hardly seems legitimate.

2. Recognize a scam

You know those advertisements that promise you a free Macbook Pro in whatever color you choose?  While this may seem fucking sweet, it is also a fucking scam.  If you actually decide you want to buy an expensive Apple product because you have some cash floating around never choose an option that suggests a substitution in payment.

It might seem really awesome to get 5 books for .99 cents from a sponsor in exchange for a program that uploads songs from your ipod to your computer, but trust me: paying the $25 will not hurt you that badly in comparison.

3. Read the fine print

4. Check your bank statements

If you are not regularly checking your email, you might miss something you should have declined.  And you might have been charged $58.

5. Do not be afraid to send threatening emails to get your money back

While you know you were totally in the wrong and did all of the irresponsible things you shouldn't have done (idiot), the people on the other end of the telephone do not.  Call, email and snail mail your way out of the payment.  Lying is kind of like inviting yourself to the club that is Corporate America.

Congratulations, kid, you've finally made it!

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