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Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Driving: It's Personal

When I'm driving I think I'm a lot savvier than I really am.  Often, I become personally insulted by other drivers on the road.

Tonight, driving home I became moderately offended that someone behind me decided I was going too slow and needed desperately to be ahead.  Then, this person with a New York license plate speeds up to 100 and breaks every 15 seconds.  Most likely, afraid of cops. 


When people do these things it makes me think they are saying, Hey.  I'm better than you and even though the speed you are driving at is completely reasonable, what I am doing is much more important and you should get out of my way. 

However, I, too, drive like this once in a while when I decide that my cause for getting ahead is much more important than everyone else's.  At least I'm aware of my own hypocrisy.   

But, it reminded me of one of the best driving revenges I have ever experienced.

I was driving home from my boyfriend's house a few months ago.  It was nighttime.  The road I was taking had a speed limit of 50 and I was going well ahead of it. 

A green minivan gets behind me, right on my ass, and as soon as there is a dotted line he takes the opportunity to floor it in front of me. 

Oh, buddy.  Bad move. 

Out of pure rage I decided to forgo my usual caution of watching out for cops and small, breakable animals and get right on this guy's tail.  And then, put on my brights.  And then blink my brights at him.  And then leave the brights on and make faces at him.  Because he is a jerk.  And he should know that. 

Someone sent me a miracle, because the slowest car in history decided to get in front of him.  We were driving 20 MPH, and I was loving every second of it.  I was flashing my brights and screaming at this guy, and he couldn't even cut this dude off. 

I can only imagine that the man (because I decided this person was a man) thought this in the moments I inflicted the torture of light on him:

Guess what, Green Minivan?  I don't forgive you.  Try sleeping at night, now. 

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